“I want to shed those final 10 pounds, and then I’ll be at my ideal weight and look my best.”
That might seem like a common and reasonable goal, right?
Having a goal like this isn’t inherently problematic, especially if it aligns with your desires, you’ve devised a plan, and you’re actively working to make it a reality.
The issue arises when we use such goals as gatekeepers to our happiness and contentment.
It’s not unusual for someone with a goal like this to engage in internal dialogue that sounds something like, “I’ll be happy when I lose 10 pounds and look significantly leaner.”
Will you genuinely be happy?
Which doors in life are seemingly closed to you because of those 10 pounds?
Are those doors truly closed, or have you shut them to yourself, assuming you must be 10 pounds leaner to be worthy of walking through them?
Consider what needs to change in your life to keep those 10 pounds off indefinitely.
This depends on where you are in your weight loss journey. If you’re significantly overweight, it might be as simple as swapping mid-day vending machine runs for a water bottle and a baggie filled with fruits and veggies.
If you’re tackling the “last 10 pounds” before achieving your peak physique, you’ll need to make substantial sacrifices of time, energy, and possibly social interactions with loved ones to maintain your diet.
Is it worth it?
That’s a decision only you can make.
We’re not here to dictate whether or not you should pursue a specific goal. We’re here to encourage you to scrutinize the relationship you have with your goals and evaluate whether they’ll truly provide what you want.
Here’s our 3-step process for setting better goals:
1. Define your desires: Defining your desires is a crucial step in the goal-setting process that often gets overlooked. Our desires aren’t always our own; they can be externally motivated. For example, the goal of losing “that last 10 pounds” might not be about the weight itself but about wanting to feel the way someone who looks and weighs 10 pounds lighter is perceived to feel. Distinguishing between external and internal desires prevents endlessly chasing unfulfilling goals.
2. Layer your goals: Analyzing internal and external desires can be challenging. Layering goals involves asking, “What’s the goal AFTER the goal?” This helps identify what you want to achieve next. Properly defining desires and setting an initial goal should naturally lead to the evolution of subsequent goals or milestones.
3. Map your goals to your desires: Once you’ve established the second layer of your goals, align them with your desires. If your goals and internal motivations are in sync, there’s no conflict. If they point in different directions, mapping your goals against your desires helps prevent confusion and ensures alignment with your values and expectations.
In summary, setting goals is a potent tool for life change. To maximize the impact of your goals and efforts, look beyond the surface. Define and refine your desires, layer your goals to establish your trajectory, and map your goals against your desires to ensure alignment with your values and expectations.
If you’d like to work with my team and I, Click here and schedule a Free No Sweat Intro to come into the gym and chat.
